Firstly,
let me apologize personally for our nearly two-month hiatus. I know
a lot of you look forward to our obvious post-Meltzer frankness and
transparent Bangs-isms that masquerade as cutting-edge underground rock
journalism. Perhaps you read SPIN to keep abreast of what was happening
in the garage-punk scene while we were away. Or maybe you latched on
to some uber-hip British rag, because those chaps really know where
it’s at. I dunno. But rest assured, we are back, albeit in a different
form, and should be here as long as Joey doesn’t decide to try
and pull the plug again.
So, obviously we need to make up for some lost time here. Firstly, I’ll
be getting the obligatory “look-how-great-my-taste-in-music-is”
top ten lists for 2002 out of the way. Then some reviews of some stuff
that’s been piling up on my desk for the past couple of months.
Bands and labels that sent promos: thanks for being patient, and keep
‘em coming. Blank Generation is not dead, it was just bound and
gagged and locked in Joe Domino’s closet for awhile. I assure
you, it is quite alive and well for the time being.
Future
columns will be reserved for pseudo-intellectual music ramblings, maybe
an interview or two, live show reviews, mostly record reviews, and any
thing else I feel you should deem noteworthy.
2002
in Review:
The most annoying thing by far about 2002 was listening to garage scenesters
whining about the popularity of the White Stripes, The Hives, The Vines,
The Blah Blah Blahs, and whatever the hell else was popular with the
kids this year. People whining about how these new garage fans know
nothing about the merits of good garage-punk, how people are just jumping
on the bandwagon, etc. etc. I mean, no shit. That’s why all these
people are on the outside looking in. I remember saying the same things
when Green Day were the Rolling Stone-rage, and now look what’s
happened: I have you here telling me how shit is, when you were one
of those Green Day newcomers who first heard of the Damned because the
fucking Offspring covered, excuse me, butchered “Smash It Up”
for some fucking soundtrack CD. So sit down, shut up, and try and act
cool. The population can have the White Stripes as long as that means
band like the Clone Defects or A-Frames are kept from being pawed by
outsiders wearing Ramones t-shirts they bought at the mall. Ever hear
of a sacrificial lamb? If you want this theory expounded on, please
check out my column on the Rip Off Records website (www.ripoffrecords.org).
The
defining moment of 2002 for me: I’m Christmas shopping at the
mall, and stop in some crap-peddling collectibles store filled to the
brim with Dukes of Hazzard lunch-boxes that came off the assembly line
last week, life-sized Rocky cut-outs, copious amounts of wrestling fan-boy
merchandise, retro-bobbleheads, mass-produced Dead Kennedys t-shirts,
and mountainous volumes of assorted other kitschy items soon to grace
a landfill near you. Then I saw it there on the wall: a GG Allin “Freaks,
Faggots, Drunks, and Junkies” t-shirt for all to see. I was stunned.
The vilest shit-slinging dope-addict “performance” artist
of our time(and perhaps the punkest man ever)there on the wall attempting
to be co-opted by popular culture. I wondered if anyone who was EVER
in the store in its entire history knew who GG was or was about. Yet,
there he was, GG-fucking-Allin, sandwiched between a Stone Cold Steve
Austin shirt and some Matilyn Monroe memorabilia. It must have been
some kind of mistake. Is GG that big of a pop culture icon these days?
I don’t think so, but I got a kick out of it. I could just imagine
some impressionable youngster spying that shirt and thinking, “Hey
there’s something really offensive that my parents will hate…I’m
gonna have to check this Allin guy out.” And the next thing you
know, he’s got ‘scumfuc’ tattooed on his chest, is
in a band, and writing songs about deviant sex acts. I guess that’s
better than him getting into Rancid or something. Now, my top tens…
LP’s/CD’s:
10) Buff Medways- “Steady the Buffs”- As long as Childish
keeps making records, they’ll be in my top ten. His best since
“Conundrum”. (Transcopic Records)
9) First Alert- “Circle Line”- The best pop album of the
year. See review section this month if you care. (CH Records)
8) Dirty Sweets- “Bubblegum Damaged”- I don’t care,
I like this one a lot. Fuck off. (Rip Off Records)
7) Sweet JAP- “Virgin Vibe”- You’ll agree with me
on this when Big Neck releases it domestically and you’re hopping
on it like it was the last chopper out of ‘Nam. (1+2/Big Neck
Records)
6) Hunches- “Yes.No.Shut it.”- This one grew on me like
that not-so-cute stripper down at the Colony Lounge. She ain’t
the prettiest, but she really puts her heart into it. (In the Red Records)
5) Bad Times- s/t- Seems like so long ago when this came out, but it
still gives me nightmares. (Goner/Therapeutic Records)
4) Baseball Furies- “Greater Than Ever”- Would’ve
ranked higher if I didn’t know these songs by heart a year before
this came out. (Big Neck Records)
3) Kill-A-Watts- “Electrorock”- The teenage vanguards of
punk-rock that restored my faith in the youth of America. (Rip Off Records)
2) A- Frames- s/t- Absurdly great robotic sci-fi-punk. (Dragnet/SS Records)
1) Lost Sounds- “Rat’s Brains and Microchips”- So
good that there are times when I can’t even listen to it. It’s
frightening, really. The fucking future of music, and don’t you
forget it. (Empty Records)
SINGLES/EP’s:
10) Knaughty Knights of Memphis EP- The antithesis of the Bad Times?
(SSLD Records)
9) Seger Liberation Army- “Heavy Music”- Tom Potter is pure
gold. (Big Neck Records)
8) Hunches- “Got Some Hate”- The swiftest kick in the ass
of 2002. (In the Red Records)
7) Sagger- “Mind Wrath”- Is Tony Sagger is the last true
gentleman of rock-n-roll? (Goodbye Boozy Records)
6) Mistreaters- “No More”– Makes me drool for the
next LP even more. (Goodbye Boozy Records)
5) Tyrades- “I Got A Lot”- Was 2002 the year of Jimmy Hollywood?
(Broken Rekkids)
4) Sagger- “Skull Rider”- Skull Rider has the most stage
presence of any frontman I have ever seen in my life. This single also
wins the coveted “Worst Cover Art of the Year” award. (Big
Neck Records)
3) Kill-A-Watts- “Let’s Get High Voltage”- “Girl’s
Livin’ Dead”!!! (Flying Bomb Records)
2) Tyrades- “Stain on Me”- Wonderfully moronic chorus kills
me every time. (Rip Off Records)
1) Lili Z. -10” EP- First Monet and The Impressionists, then Truffaut
and The New Wave, and then Lili and The Happy Family: the French just
continue to amaze me. The best one-girl-band ever. (Polly Magoo Records)Things
to look forward to in 2003: Mistreaters full-length on Estrus, new Firestarter
LP (summer 2003?), VOLT!, Tom Potter solo-party platter, new A-Frames
LP, Turbonegro: the comeback, an official release of the Guilty Pleasures
LP (?), new Zodiac Killers LP, Clone Defects “Shapes of Venus”
LP, another Lost Sounds record I’m sure, more Sagger, delays to
the release of the next Baseball Furies LP, the return of Crypt Records,
new Kill-A-Watts LP, 920 Blues 2, and watch out: the Catholic Boys will
take over the world, mark my words.
REVIEWS
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2002 AND JANUARY 2003:
Daycare
Swindlers “Heathen Radio” CD
Here’s
what you do should this CD end up in your possession: place it in a
paper bag and light it on fire. Then throw it on the porch of the grumpy
old man that lives down the street, run and hide in the bushes and watch
as he comes out and stomps on it while you laugh it up. This trick works
with any other pieces of dogshit you may come across as well.
(Go-Kart Records)
Exploding
Hearts “Guitar Romantic” LP
Class A power-pop from yet another outfit hailing from the Pacific Northwest.
King Louie played one finger-keyboards on this release, and co-wrote
most of the songs, but has since left the group and Portland. The LP
includes a nice insert with lots of pics of the band that made me realize
that Louie now looks like what a Jon Cusack might have looked like if
he put on a few pounds and played one of the characters in River’s
Edge. Anyway, the music is upbeat in a Nerves/Plimsouls kind of way,
with hooks that inspire me to write all kinds of hackneyed fishing analogies
to describe them. I was listening to some MP3’s from the band’s
website for months before the record came out, infectious tunes like
“I’m A Pretender” and “Rumors in Town”,
and the LP delivers more of the same. Great stuff that will make your
Mom feel young again and tell you that story about how she and her friends
got real drunk at a Romantics concert back in the Eighties and tried
sneaking backstage.
(Screaming Apple Records)
(www.screamingapple.de)
First
Alert “Circle Line” CD
I really can’t say enough good things about this Japanese band
with an unnatural talent for writing extremely complex and catchy songs.
I think these guys picked up the
ball when The Registrators dropped it a couple of years ago. This is
their third album, I believe, and it picks right where the last EP “On
Secret Mission” left off. How to describe them? I don’t
know, but I’ll make up something: mod-wave pop, although the band
swears it is “99% Punk Rock” on the label. The songs are
relentlessly poppy and almost embarrassingly upbeat at times, but are
so wonderfully crafted and dynamic that any misgivings you might have
are quickly put aside. The production is top-notch, and there are lots
of effects and between-song interludes that are both weird and funny.
The album art itself is bizarre: I’ve been looking at it for weeks
and I still don’t get it. And the imagery in the CD booklet is
an interesting amalgam of tidbits from British and American pop culture
filtered through the Japanese mind. The lyrics show a strange infatuation
with foods of all kinds. Sample song titles: “My Instant Breakfast”
and “Vanishing Kitchen”, both of which kill. This CD will
hold you over very nicely until the next Firestarter disc comes out,
and First Alert have proven themselves to be one of the most interesting
and strange bands in operation right now. CD also includes this warning:
“Caution to owners and salesclerks of all record shops: Put this
CD to PUNKROCK corner of your shop.” Right on.
(CH Records)
Manda
and the Marbles
Full length CD from the band that turned in one of the few palatable
songs on the Kill Rock Stars’ “Field & Streams”
compilation from 2002. You can’t describe this band without saying
Go-Go’s at least once. Belinda, I mean Manda, has a pleasant enough
voice, and the poppy songs contain more sugar that your average kids
breakfast cereal. Not as good as most of the girl-fronted pop bands
Sympathy has released over the years, and a bit too polished and lacking
in catchy songs to merit repeat spins. If you’re into stuff like
this (perhaps if you’re an 18 year-old girl), you’re gonna
love it. If not, it’s just unthreatening and kind of bland, and
makes me happy that Nikki Corvette is coming back.
(Go-Kart Records)
Registrators
“Terminal Boredom Version 2” CD
Alright, I have no idea what these guys are doing here. For some reason
they felt it necessary to remix “Terminal Boredom” and release
it. At least that’s what I think they did. Some of the songs sound
like they were re-recorded entirely. Either way, I like it. “Terminal
Boredom” had such a huge impact on me that its way up there on
my list of most listened to albums of all time. I’ve listened
to it so many times that I really can’t listen to it anymore.
So, hearing these songs in a new context was very interesting. What
does it sound like, you want to know? Well, if you’ve heard the
“No Fantasy” EP, it takes that sound and morphs it with
the original mix. It’s kind of like they filed all the jagged
edges down from the Rip Off version, and made it sound more new-wavey
in their own peculiar way. The drums are more up front in the mix and
have that sound they’ve had on the past couple of Registrators
releases. (By the way, “No Fantasy” has grown on me a bit
now. It’s not as bad as I originally thought, but these guys are
capable of much better.) The bass is smoothed out and sunk more in the
background, and the vocals are definitely more audible. They serve up
extra remix tracks too, like “I Wanna Kill Everything”,
a piss-take of “Pogo Pogo” and one or two more. Seems to
be a worthwhile experiment, and the most listenable new music the Registrators
have put out since “Sixteen Wires…”
(Wave Form Records)
River
City Rebels “No Good, No Time , No Pride” CD
There are so many things wrong with this CD. First: in a post-Rubber
City Rebels world, I’m a firm believer that no band should even
attempt to use the ‘nickname for city + plural noun’ formula
for their name. It guarantees failure. Witness: Murder City Devils,
Motor City Mutants, River City Rapists, Murder City Wrecks, etc. Second:
horns have no place in punk rock on a consistent basis. I’ve been
letting RFTC get away with this for years, and I’m not handing
out any more free passes. Third: this album includes a ‘rant’
by Duane Peters, idol of the fifteen year-old skater kid that lives
down the street and legions of chain-walleted ‘beach-punks’.
Fourth: this album is dedicated ‘to all the people and bands that
keep the real punk rock alive’. What the fuck? I could go on making
fun of this CD forever, but it will still never get across how worthless
I think this is.
(Victory Records)
Treeberrys
“Mono for Brian” CD-EP
Two song EP from reverential Sixties-pop playing Japanese band, who
sound like either “Village Green”-era Kinks, or later Beach
Boys, or The Raspberries, depending on which way you slice it. Both
songs sound extremely authentic, with the second veering into Mersey-beat
territory. Cool little release that would probably make me buy their
full-length on Sounds of Subterranean if I saw it. Very true to their
influences, but it’s 100 times cooler that it’s Japanese
guys doing it, not Brits or Americans. Very nice, especially that first
track, although it is really wimpy. Both this and the “Ride the
Rockin’ Rocket” CD are available from Hideo at Nice-n-Neat
Records.
(Tinstar Records)
(www.nice-neat.com)
VOLT
12” Maxi-EP
New band from Lili, Jack, and FX of the Splash Four that sounds absolutely
nothing like the Splash Four if that’s what you’re hoping
for. This is even better. Lili’s solo 10” from last year
is a probable launching point for this project, but they’ve upped
the ante quite a few Francs. Or Euros. Or whatever they’re calling
the money over there now. I’m gonna tell you right now, this is
some REAL electro-punk. Just synths, programmed drums, guitar, and vox,
and it’s more than enough to send most of these Neoteric synth-punk
outfits running back to the suburbs from whence they came. It’s
dark It’s mean. It’s French. This disc seethes sex and violence
through its pores. There are obviously some Metal Urbain influences
at play here, and perhaps this is French punk coming full circle. I
don’t know, but I do know that this is exciting music that is
certainly 100 times better than the Nazis from Mars. Four new-wave dance
floor hits with a daring industrial edge: the scathing indictment of
“Couples”, the naughty innuendo of Lili’s “I
Like It”, the relentless tale of “86 Friends”, and
the searing theme that is “Volt!”. This disc should hit
American shores any day now, so pay attention. I’ve already reserved
a spot in this year’s Top Ten.
(Polly Magoo Records)
(voltklub.free.fr)
V/A
“Diggy Diggy Die” LP
Now this is value: over twenty songs from nothing but past and present
Texas bands. Everyone’s here for the most part, with the most
notable exceptions being The Jewws and maybe The Reds/Marked Men. Otherwise,
every outfit from Sugar Shack to the dearly departed Fells, to the Ritchie
Whites to the Mullens themselves makes an appearance here. And surprisingly,
only one of the bands here has Toby Marsh in it. There’s even
a track from Bobby Sox’s last band, Puncture, redoing his own
Stick Men with Ray Guns classic “Christian Rat Attack”,
and two bands featuring Buxf from The Dicks. I always wondered how you
pronounced Buxf… Most of the tracks are worthwhile; I liked the
Gospel Swingers and Vultures the most, although The Mullens song is
a bit of a throwaway. The track listing gets a little confusing at times,
and there’s a cover of the Drags’ “Conspiracy”
by a band I believe to be called The Titz that sounds so much like the
original that I’m not quite sure it isn’t the original.
Or maybe it was Sugar Shack doing it? A worthwhile comp overall, and
it even comes on exquisite Elmer’s Glue-colored vinyl.
(Rubble Records)
V/A
“Ride the Rockin’ Rocket” CD
Besides being light-years ahead of the rest of the world in the fields
of electronics/technology and the production of cool toys, the Japanese
have leapt to the forefront of another field the Western world seems
incapable of mastering: properly packaging a CD. In the states we get
plastic wrappers that you need a hunting knife to get open, and then
there’s that plastic strip on the top of the CD held on with some
kind of space-age polymer that takes a takes both a reciprocating saw
and a power sander to get through. And then you’re still left
with that annoying sticky residue on your CD case that picks up bits
of dog hair and lint, making it look really bad. The Japanese have this
thing figured out: the plastic wrapper has one of those little tear
away strips in it, like on a pack of cigarettes, so it can be easily
opened. Or, they have these neat little resealable cellophane wrappers,
like this CD has, that you can put your disc back into should you desire.
And they’ve got no stupid sticker welded on to seal the disc;
they have the very classy and non-annoying obi strip. It’s really
a pleasure to open Japanese CD’s; why can’t America figure
this out?
Anyway,
this CD is a sampler from 1999 featuring the then latest wave of chainsaw-guitar
punk/pop from Japan. You might be familiar already with The Gimmies
and Coastersride, who both turn in two dizzying tracks, and the Lookalikes,
who are the poppiest of the six bands on exhibit here. The real treats
are the exquisitely named Keen Monkey Work and Thunderball, who throw
down the albums best track, “Can You Make Anything of It?”
Ogress churn out some non-annoying chipmunk-vocal punk as well. A great
sampler CD, with the emphasis more on the punk than the pop, that certainly
delivers the value you deserve from a compilation. Much like a Mangrove
sampler CD, except a lot louder. Did I mention it’s packaged to
look like a pizza box, and the track listing appears in menu-form? Fantastic.
(Tinstar Records)
(www.nice-neat.com)